Please don’t be married, please don’t be married, God please don’t let him be married! You have talked, laughed and my oh my does he look and smell good! Is it the crispness of his white shirt? The overall “well put together-ness” or is it because it would just seem too good to be true?! And there it is ladies, the uncertainties of dating in your 30s!
The anxiety alone, is enough to knock a horse off its feet! The constant, “could this be him?” will it ever happen for me? Maybe this whole relationship thing isn’t meant for me! Is he hiding a wife or long term girlfriend away from me somewhere? Wolf in sheep’s clothing? Or worse still, a leech!
It is so easy to self-sabotage with so much anxiety floating through your system! So calm down girl, take a deep breath and let’s talk, “Dating in your 30s”.
1) Woman, know thyself! – Ever try to find your way somewhere when you have no clue where you are in the first place? If you have, how well did that work out for you?? And before you go on about how ambitious, patient, and drop dead gorgeous you are….let’s talk values! Values means, Figure out your deal breakers before going in! And yes, it has to be more serious than whether he picks his nose or not! It may go without saying, but dating doesn’t mean you are in the market for a long term relationship. Some people just want to have fun! Whatever it is, you are looking for, be clear.
2) Know what you are looking for – Romp in the hay or walking down the aisle, you need to have an idea at least, about the kind of guy that floats your boat. As good as we women are with regards to our intuition, just bear in mind that men have layers too, so you may not be able to figure them out and box them, on the first date. If he makes you smile, or gives you the tingles, he may be worth a second date!
3) Don’t ignore the red flags – Did he just pass that chauvinistic comment? Does he have that indentation of where a wedding ring could possibly have been an hour ago? Does he give a sleazy vibe that kind of creeps you out? If you want to go ahead despite the red flags, our only advice, dig deeper and ask questions! Don’t read the riot act, but it helps to dig deeper with a little flirtation!
4) Don’t check in the baggage, get rid of it! – Whether the questions are asked or not about “why you are single?” Believe us, it is not a green light to give a prose about your failed relationships and how hard it is to find a good man. He may bait you, but this is not the time to go all in about how you thought your ex was “the one”. Don’t be a wet blanket and make him automatically check himself into the friend zone. Less is more, especially for the first date!
5) It’s never that serious! – Pull yourself together girl and don’t ooze desperation! It’s sometimes hard not to when you’re trying to complete your bucket list goal of being married at 35, but you have to calm down! When all is said and done, maybe he actually does pick his nose and maybe his mommy issues are yet to manifest themselves. Whatever it may be, dating is supposed to be fun! Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t so really….it’s never that serious!
6) Have fun!! – At the very least, dating in supposed to be fun so bench the salad that you truthfully don’t enjoy, and have the steak! Have the beer you really like and stop pretending to want to see the wine list. There is nothing more attractive than a happy woman comfortable in her own skin! Love to dance, do it! Flirt a little….it’s always good to check if you still got it!
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