Tumi Wellness

Securely Insecure: 10 steps to get your self confidence back!

“When you don’t have self-esteem, you will hesitate before you do anything in your life, you will hesitate to go for the job you really want to go for, you will hesitate to report a rape, you will

hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against for race, size or gender, you will hesitate to dream” Margaret Cho.

If you have ever felt insecure for one reason or another put your hands up!

If you feel insecure sometimes or most of the time put your hands up!

Insecurity is like that one bad loud friend that puts you in an ugly state of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself, you like the friend for some reason (because victim mentality hello) but you also hate her most times. It is a lack of confidence or low self-esteem which leads to a lack of self-love and destructive behaviour. How many of us have actually dealt with the root cause? Instead we are securely insecure; meaning; we hide it, tightly secure it until it becomes a poisonous Siamese twin.

There are many factors that cause one to be insecure; the kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, negative beliefs about yourself, body size, race and many more. The bottom line is; learn to shift your perspective. Learn to see what’s tripping you because self-love can’t exist without self-awareness and self-awareness leads to change.

Growing up, I had no doubt that I was beautiful , before those teeth fell out and new ones came in; boy what beautiful tiny white teeth I had, I was also too young to care about the mirror to be honest. Fast forward to that awkward age in primary school when you start crushing on John the cute guy from next door, but he doesn’t really like you back and you start wondering why, then you overhear other kids call you names because of your teeth, what a bummer. The kids were so mean, every time I would attempt to smile they would call me, “rabbit teeth” and laugh, picture day was the worst. Eventually I stopped smiling, I have always had the Tyra Banks serious, smile with your eyes look and it worked. That was me being securely insecure. I hated my teeth so much that once I took a nail file and attempted to file them down.


1. They strip you of your identity and self-love

2. Without self-love you have no self-worth so anyone can define what love is for you

3. They corrupt your relationships

4. They leave you over dependant on external factors

5. They are the enemy of authenticity and innovation.


1. Forgive the past

2. Practice self-approval

3. Hang around people that love you and boost your confidence

4. Affirm your own value

5. Unplug from social media; sometimes the pressure is unnecessary.

6. Practice self-compassion; talk nicely to yourself

7. Challenge negative thoughts – write them down so that you can step back and simply observe them.

8. Always reflect on the good.

9. Focus and celebrate baby steps.

10. Look in the mirror and focus on five things you love about yourself

Just imagine what life would be like if you didn’t hear any of these mean thoughts echo in your head. Imagine what reality might actually look like if you could live free of this prescribed insecurity.

Marjorie Muchena is a radical millennial Christian and public speaker as well as a fashion and beauty enthusiast.

“I believe how you look speaks to the world before you open your mouth. This has been a great confidence booster for me”, she says.

For your physical, analytical ,Bio, organic and inorganic chemicals, hotel and restaurant packaging , and groceries from SA to Zim: email me: marjmuchena@gmail.com#TumiWellness #SelfLove #Insecurities


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