It’s amazing how you could have had a full social calendar of events when you were single, then bam! You got married! Essentially, once you get married, you inherit a whole other family. Sometimes complete with parents, grandparents, siblings and nieces and nephews. What this means, is your already full social calendar is only going to get fuller! Sometimes it will be a toss-up between your family events and those of your husband. At the beginning, it can be really tough deciding who gets the honor of your presence and who does not. You’re a superwoman you say? You can do both??? If so, good for you! Burnout, step a little closer to this sister! Not to mention the stress and anxiety that comes with it. We even wrote an article about it here
New Social Calendar
Sometimes it can feel like you spend so much time, attending family functions, it’s hard to even remember when last you did something just for yourself. During the first year or so, if family plays a big role in your lives, it can be a whirlwind of weddings, birthday parties, funerals and baby showers. Who said you have to do all those things, well….your new roles say so. Ideally when you get married, it means that you have now become, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and sometimes mother to a whole bunch of new people.
Unless you live far far away from either one of your families, your presence at some of these functions becomes a key ingredient to integrating yourself into your new family. When your friend calls you up for the impromtu random drink or night out, it will be the responsibility that comes with your new roles that helps you decide whether a hangover at cousin Jane’s 9am wedding is worth it.
New Career Realities
My new hubby and I are going to be the newest power couple in town! Or will we?? The truth is, theory and reality may be different! Maybe you had to move towns, jobs, careers or maybe you were fortunate enough to not have any major work shifts, so you and your husband can be together. It may require you to leave your job and enhance your career in terms of taking on homemaker skills. Believe it or not, being a homemaker is no easy task! In theory it seems like an easy thing to be home but its harder than it looks. Sometimes in addition to managing the home operations, you still need to balance the emotions of not having a regular paycheck or accepting that your contributions to the home will now be non-financial. This means you need to find fulfillment in your non-monetary contributions which is easier said than done!
The reality is, it may be the same job but how you conduct yourself may need a bit of adjustment. Calm down, I didn’t say you have to pack up your stilettos and bodycon dresses! What you wear is your choice but you may want to set a few boundaries in other aspects of your work life. Typical examples of this would be to make it known that your preference for meetings and calls is before a specific time, in order to respect your family time for example. Changes like this, big or small, come down to the type of relationship you have with your partner. I know it can be a lot to process but don’t sweat it! With experience you’ll get the hang of navigating the complicated dance between your lifestyle and his. Eventually, much like all things, you’ll learn to take it in your stride like a boss!
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